Denounced (Exalted Trilogy: Book 2) Page 4

  “I know what you mean. Well, let’s see what Ethan thinks. Maybe he has an idea,” Val suggests.

  “That’s a good idea,” I agree with her plan.

  As I close my eyes once again, I think about my time outside of the Republic’s walls. My Third Trial—I have no doubt—was unlike any of the other trainee’s experience. I think about Tom and Francis’ kindness and how they accepted me, without asking for anything in return. I think about the marauders that killed Lily’s mother and the way she laid crying over the body. I think about Ethan wanting to return to this place and be an Exalted more than anything else. And finally, I think about Ryker. The look on his face when I told him I wasn’t going with him was completely convincing. He was devastated.

  I am such a fool.

  ***

  The morning comes too fast. Life as an Exalted resumes for all of us that have returned from our Third Trial. My body really needs time to rest and heal, but that is not a privilege we are granted. I’m sure I’m not the only one that needs the extra time. There were many bruised faces and limping trainees in the cafeteria last night.

  After Val and I pull ourselves out of bed, we dress in our black tank tops and black shorts. We lace up our black boots and gather up our weapons. I pull my long hair back away from my face. When Val points out that the bandage covering my stab wound is showing, I quickly untie my hair. I don’t want Kinah to see it.

  We leave our dorm room to join the other trainees for the morning run. This is my favorite part of any day here in the Republic. I enjoy running. I’m good at it; there is no one faster than me.

  We enter the stairwell, and the clicking of our shoes mixes in with dozens of other feet. I sing Lily’s song in my head, to the beat of the boots, until I reach the door to the outside.

  The sun is blazing this morning and stings my sensitive eyes. I push myself forward, past groups of other Exalted, even though I feel like death. The pain in my shoulder keeps me from swinging that arm while I run. The pain also causes me to break out in a cold sweat. I have to wipe my face with my shirt so the others won’t see, because an easy exercise like this shouldn’t have me perspiring. To keep my mind off of my ailing body, I pick back up where I left off with Lily’s tune. I focus on the melody instead of the flames that lick at my muscles and flesh.

  Unexpectedly, a pain shoots through my chest so violently that I tumble to the ground. This isn’t from my injuries. What’s wrong with me? I hurriedly pick myself up before someone notices. But it happens again, and I find myself on my hands and knees, gasping for air.

  Lily.

  Lily.

  I gasp again.

  I pull myself up and sprint the rest of the way back to my room. I fly up the stairs and down the hallway until I find myself in front of my plain door. My hand reaches out to turn the handle, but I stop. An invisible force grips me deep inside. It holds me in place as I am bombarded with feelings of loss, grief, betrayal, anger, denial, and a consuming amount of other negative things all at once.

  I sag to the floor in the hallway, still gripping the doorknob. My sobs are loud . . . too loud. I plant my forehead against the door, hoping my hair will fall around my face and hide my tears. It’s too bad that it can’t provide a sound buffer as well. I am well aware that anyone could walk into this hallway and hear me, but I am a victim to my emotions at this instance. It’s completely overwhelming and not at all how I remember coming off the Pump the first time.

  In between my sobs, I hear feet pounding down the hallway. My hand is wrenched away from the door, and then I am dragged into my room. The door slams behind me. Val, my savior, leans me against the foot of her bed and pushes the hair out of my eyes.

  “What is happening? Mena! Mena! What’s wrong?” she shouts at me as though my hearing is impaired.

  My voice hiccups as I say, “It just came flooding in, all at once. I can feel everything. EVERYTHING!” I scream so loud my voice cracks.

  “Let me get you some water.” She hurries into the bathroom to retrieve a glass. She turns the sink on, fills the cup, and then returns to me. “Here.”

  The cup is offered to me, but I don’t want water. I want to know what happened to Lily. I want to kill Ryker. I don’t want to be United with Ethan. I killed people during my Third Trial. I lied to Val about the Pump. There’s too much to deal with all at once.

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” I say as I jolt to my feet. I barely make it to the toilet in time. Val is at my side, comforting me when I don’t deserve her friendship.

  She pulls my hair back from my face and asks, “Are you okay?”

  “Ugh,” I croak as I drop to the cool tile floor.

  “I know you feel terrible, but we have to get down to breakfast or they’re going to come looking for us. Do you think you can manage to shower?” Val reaches over and flushes the toilet. She steps out of the bathroom for a second and returns with a towel and some clothes for me to change into. “Here. We have to hurry.” She reaches into the shower and turns it on, testing the temperature with her hand.

  “Aren’t you sick too?” I ask.

  “I can manage. I’m better than I was the past couple of days. Now, hurry up.”

  I take a deep breath and pull myself to me feet. I know how important it is for me to pull myself together—I could get executed if someone sees me like this . . . and possibly Val too.

  Val leaves me alone long enough for me to get cleaned up and dressed. Then, she takes the quickest shower ever. We have to jog all the way over to the cafeteria to make it before anyone suspects anything is amiss. I’m usually one of the first ones here in the morning, so being the last one in is an unusual sight.

  After my perfectly planned out meal is handed to me, I make my way over to the female trainee’s side of the dining hall. As I glance around, I notice that all of the trainees have returned from the Third Trial save for Az and Adira. There’s no doubt in my mind that Adira is probably dead. A wave of sadness falls over me for my lost acquaintance. I knew I should’ve felt something yesterday when it was mentioned. Now I feel it.

  Az on the other hand has me dumbfounded. I take a bite of my oatmeal, now that my stomach has settled, and wonder what could have happened to him. I dreaded the thought of being United with him, but now I’m thinking I would much rather that future than the one where he has been slaughtered. Tears start to well up in the corners of my eyes. I hurriedly blink them away.

  I am a total mess. I know I’m going to lose it when I see Ryker today. I just hope we are alone when it happens.

  Halfway through my meal, I hear the squeaking of the medical citizens’ carts as they wheel them into the room. They begin handing out our purple pills one at a time. Each trainee must swallow his or her vitamin like a good soldier. Across from me, Ethan accepts his and pretends to shoot it into the back of his mouth. He takes a generous swig of milk to “wash” the capsule down, and then he sneakily slides it into the waistband of his pants. I watch as Val takes hers and slips it into her cleavage when no one is looking. That’s one place I never thought to hide it. The subtle humor tickles my heart. Smiling and laughing is something I miss. However, though I may regain the capacity to feel the emotions that conjure such physical reactions, I don’t believe there will be events that will allow them—not anytime soon.

  What should I do about this pill? I should take it. I don’t want to feel any of these negative emotions anymore. They’re too horrible and painful. Besides, I’m going to be blood tested every week. Take the pill, I tell myself as a female medical citizen hands me the Pump. It feels like it weighs a thousand pounds in my hand. I hesitate for a second but then pop it into my mouth. I lift a glass of cold, non-fat milk to my lips and take in a mouthful. I swallow.

  Just before the pill is about to slide down the back of my throat, I change my mind. I let out a furious cough. The pill shoots out of my throat and into my hands that are cupped around my mouth. I slide a hand across my face and into my loose hair. My nimble fingers
tuck the pill somewhat safely away in my ear. I let my hair fall back down to cover my deception.

  Why did I do that? I should’ve just swallowed the thing. No. No. No. This is bad. I can still take it later—if it doesn’t get lodged in my ear canal.

  I continue eating with my friends watching me closely. Ethan has no clue what’s going on. Only Val is aware of what’s happened with Dr. Fredericks and Ryker. I can tell by the look on Ethan’s face that he wants to talk when we finish eating . . . but I have somewhere to be.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Security is expecting me when I approach the Capitol building. They direct me to the stairs, which I take two at a time. I climb until I reach the floor that Dr. Fredericks’ office is on. I open the door to the blood red hallway. It’s empty.

  When I reach the end of the corridor, I knock on the office door. A first place Exalted guard opens the door for me to enter, so I do. As I pass him, I remind myself that I’m only a few weeks away from getting my own purple armband to display my ranking . . . just one purple band. No, Mena. I scold myself for falling prey to such an enticing perk of being an Exalted.

  Sitting at his desk, looking over a map of some sort, is Dr. Fredericks. He’s in all white again, with a sky blue handkerchief peeking out from his jacket pocket. There is a second guard posted by the windows, and Ryker is sitting in a leather high-back chair beside Dr. Fredericks’ wooden desk. He glances at me with a blank stare, one that neither says I’m sorry or I’m not sorry. My very being stills, as if time has stopped. Looking at Ryker sitting there is surreal and revolting.

  Dr. Fredericks looks up and smiles at me. “Oh Mena, it’s so good of you to join us. I was just giving Ryker here your duties for the day. Now, you’ll learn that you will be treated fairly if you do as you’re told. Ryker will be reporting back to me on all of your actions. Should you disappoint me, you will be Denounced and tried for treason—and we all know where that leads,” he warns with a grin. “There are no second chances when you work directly for me. Understood?”

  “Yes, sir!” I reply and bow before the Republic’s leader. I don’t want to do it, but it’s expected.

  “Good. Now, off with you two. Ryker, report back to me at 8:00 p.m. sharp.”

  “Yes, sir,” Ryker answers as he stands at attention. It’s the first time I’ve heard him speak since I learned of his betrayal. It makes my chest ache, and I have to force myself not to break down crying in the middle of the snake’s office. It’s hard to keep my face straight as he turns to look at me with that blank expression, but I do. My face remains rigid.

  Ryker strides past me toward the office door, which is opened for him by the guard that let me in. I follow him because it’s my job. The door shuts behind us and we are left alone in the empty hallway. He doesn’t say anything, so neither do I.

  The pounding of his feet on the wood flooring is beyond irritating. It makes me want to pluck out my eardrums, and looking at his handsome form as he walks ahead of me makes me want to claw out my eyes. My complexion is probably as red as these walls, because all of my blood left my heart when I laid eyes on Ryker. My anger is roaring under the pale flesh of my face.

  Ryker enters the stairway. I enter behind him. The door shuts and we are alone in the hollow shaft. Only Exalted would use the stairs in this building. All the Ambassadors would take the elevator, so this is most likely the best time for me to express my concerns.

  “Ryker,” I say, my tone flat.

  He turns to look at me with his familiar brown eyes. To throw him off guard, I smile. He instantly looks relieved and smiles back. Then, I rear back and punch him in the jaw.

  Ryker’s footing slips and he stumbles down a step. The handrail stops him from falling any further. He cradles his jaw in his hand and stares wild-eyed at me. “Why’d you do that?” he asks flabbergasted.

  “You know why I did it! What, you think I wouldn’t care since I’m on the Pump? Well guess what? I’m not!” I flip my hair out of the way, pull the pill out of my ear, and launch it at him. It hits him in the chest and then rolls down to the next landing.

  “No, I didn’t think that. And I’m sorry that it looks like I betrayed you, but I didn’t. I swear,” he says with desperation. He tries to reach out to take my hand. I recoil as if it’s a snake.

  “Yes, you did. You betrayed me, my parents, Val, Ethan, and Lily . . . Where is Lily, Ryker? Did you turn her over to him?” I’m about to punch him again. My fists are clenched tight, and I’m breathing heavily.

  Ryker drops down another step, attempting to avoid another physical attack from me. “No, Mena, I would never do that. She’s in a safe place. She’s here. I snuck her in. She’s staying in my apartment,” he attempts to assure me.

  “You’re lying. How could no one have seen you bring a marauder child in here?”

  “There are ways . . . and she fits perfectly in a duffle bag,” he says without further explanation.

  I shake my head. “Lies. It’s all been lies. Why? What are you planning?”

  Ryker drops his voice to almost a whisper and says, “I’m here for the same reason you’re here. I want to stop this. Look, if I was going to betray you or your family and friends, then I would’ve done it a long time ago.”

  In the back of my mind I know this is true—I even said this same thing to my parents—but right now my emotions are taking over. They are raging through my body and mind. I look for anything to blame him for. I counter, “But you did. You told Dr. Fredericks I was off the Pump. He confronted me at the banquet.”

  “No, it wasn’t me that turned you in. I don’t know who it was.” He sees the look of disbelief fall over my face. He shakes his head. “Mena, I swear it. It wasn’t me.” Ryker climbs back up two steps and looks into my grief-stricken eyes. His face changes to reflect mine. He looks sad, and I can tell that he yearns to be near me. He takes a deep breath to regain his confidence. “When I asked you to leave with me, I meant it. I would’ve left in a heartbeat to be with you. I couldn’t stand the thought of you coming back here and being United with someone else. I can’t stand the thought of it. But you made the right decision, and I can’t fault you for that.”

  My heart softens for an instant, but then I realize something that I should’ve thought of yesterday. “If you’ve been here all this time, aren’t you United?”

  He shakes his head side-to-side. “No. I didn’t lie when I told you that I left during my Third Trial. And I didn’t lie when I said I’m from the Republic. I’m just not from this Republic.”

  “What?” More lies. Why is he doing this?

  “Didn’t you ever wonder why you never recognized me—especially since I’m only a few years older than you?” he asks.

  “No. I wouldn’t recognize any of the other trainees. It’s not something we notice. You know that.”

  “No. I guess you’re right to a certain extent.”

  “What do you mean you’re not from this Republic? Where are you from?” I ask because I want to see where he’s going with this ridiculous story.

  Ryker looks above me to the door we just came through. He looks nervous, but decides to quickly tell me more. “I’m from another Republic of the Saved. It’s a place just like this—to the northeast. The two must have a friendly relationship with each other, because they sometimes trade Exalted. We are more effective if our families and friends don’t recognize us. That’s why I’m not United. As far as everyone knows, I’m dead.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Ryker,” I warn.

  “I’m not lying, Mena. I’m not from this Republic.” He looks like he’s telling the truth. I feel like I want to believe him even though I just hit him for being dishonest with me in the past.

  “There’s another place like this?” I whisper to myself.

  “We’ll have to talk about that later. Come on. Let’s head down.” He turns to descend the stairs as he tells me what’s expected of me. I follow along in a daze and try to listen, but it seems like gibberish at the moment. �
��I mostly work on the outside, but you, once he trusts you, you will work both inside and out. He wants to use you to infiltrate the citizens, find out if anyone is off the Pump.”

  I snap out of my stupor. This is news to me. I’m an operative—a spy sent to rat out the people I want to fight for. “Why does he trust you? How did you get on his good side if you’re not even from here?” I ask.

  He pauses on a step just before a landing. He removes all emotions from his face when he admits to me, “I had to do some things I’m not proud of. I was still on the Pump when I did them. I thought I was doing the right thing. I came highly recommended to him. Now, he sends me out to destroy whole villages. I’m supposed kill everyone. I go there, tell the people how to get to Toledo Lake, and then I burn everything to the ground. He believes me because that’s the job I was trained for, and he thinks I can’t disobey him. Another side effect of the Pump is not being able to question this government. We don’t ask ourselves ‘why’, we just do it.” Ryker shrugs his shoulders as if he doesn’t even really know how his life has taken him here. He’s angry and sad, ashamed and vengeful.

  He turns and continues descending the stairs. He finds my discarded pill and shoves it into his pocket. “Look, I know you have a million questions, and I know you hate me right now, but we have got to get out of here before he realizes we haven’t left the building. Please,” he begs.

  “Fine,” I respond.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Ryker informs me that we’re leaving the Republic, but not as expected. We descend the Capitol building’s stairwell until we reach the basement level. I didn’t even know that any of these building’s had basements. I’ve been in the dark for so long.